The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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