I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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