Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
