True but thats because hes a fetus.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
