I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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