Your favorite bartender is back from prision
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
3pm strippers are depressing
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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