That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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