drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
