his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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