i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
