At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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