i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
