She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
