Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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