i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I wear drunk well.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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