She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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