My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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