He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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