you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
