We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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