I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
