I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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