I must be too annoying 4 u.
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
All I want is dick and wine.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
