filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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