hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Mom said you looked used
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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