Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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