And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
