omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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