Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
