Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
