i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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