iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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