FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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