VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize
