office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
