do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
