We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
