There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
