You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Is it because I queefed?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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