i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
This house was built for laser tag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Randomize