What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
