me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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