I bet he comes in French.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
