Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
