so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
