Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
