So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize