The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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