I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
