He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
