i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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