If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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