I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
