he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
