What a fucking waste of an outfit
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize