Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
